A Week Out Of Place
By
Leonard Zwelling
Recently, I wrote about being in the right place and how one can often be surprised by the impact one can have by taking advantage of the place and time where one finds oneself. But, as I wrote, that is not always the case. I am currently in Mt. Pleasant visiting my son and his family. I am definitely out of place here.
I live in Houston, one of the most diverse cities on the planet. In any given room I enter in Houston, I am likely to have joined people of all races and nationalities from all over the world. In certain restaurants, ten different languages could be easily distinguished to the discerning ear.
In Mt. Pleasant, every room I enter, whether restaurant or store, is filled with white people. Most appear to be from a low socio-economic strata, but with roots of immigration to America dating back well over 100 years—maybe 400. Most have bad haircuts if they cut their hair at all. Almost everyone is overweight, men and women. Everything and everyone looks like it has seen better days. Mt. Pleasant seems to be the town that fell off the back of a truck in about 1955. More importantly, it is hard to know whether it has entered the 21st century at all. There are no movie theaters here. We had to drive a half hour to Greensburg to take our grandsons to see the new Superman film. And, oh yes, this is deep red Trump country, very close to where he was almost assassinated.
There’s a Starbucks up from our hotel, but almost no one is ever there. The hotel in which we are staying (we had a choice of one) is dirty and dusty with a free breakfast that is over-priced. Three days into our stay we had to move from the one suite in the Holiday Inn that we had booked because we were invaded by fruit flies from the next room putatively from a woman in the that room who brought them in with some peaches. At least, that was the story
I have yet to have a good cup of coffee in Mt. Pleasant other than the one my son made for me. Every cup is thin gruel requiring way too much sweetener to be drinkable. The New Story Coffee Shop was an exception. I have never visited a coffee shop so isolated. We drove miles to get there. It was worth the drive, but I cannot envision how it will stay in business.
We played golf three times. Each course was well-designed, but only one, in a planned community in near-by Greensburg, was well-maintained and truly beautiful. Interestingly, the golfers and the cars in the parking lot at this last club were decidedly upscale and the course was brilliant in design as well, a links style Scottish course with no heather.
I guess one can have a life here. What worries me is what happens when the unpredictable challenges of life crop up for my son and his family and there is a need for an emergency medic, a fire fighter, or a physician. These all exist here, but the fire house is down the street from my son’s house and is all voluntary. When my son’s family needs medical care, it is likely to be at least a half hour away.
I am a father and a grandfather. I worry about what kind of life my son and his sons will have in a place like this. Clearly, it will be much different than my life was in New York or my son’s life was in Houston and Brooklyn. I don’t know which is better, but I just spent a week here—out of place. I can’t wait to get back to Houston.
No matter where we find ourselves in this world, I can’t wait to get back to Houston. Whenever I am anywhere else, I am out of place. Here, in Mt. Pleasant, I am way out of place and a week out of place is more than enough. It is disorienting, but educational. All blue state voters ought to come to places like this and see why Trump won. What I fear is Trump’s promises to these good Americans will never be fulfilled and by the time they realize that they have been had, Trump will be gone.
Yes, I have been in unexpected places and made the most of my initial disorientation. I am not so much disoriented in Mt. Pleasant as caught in a time warp. This seems to be a long-ago America for a person from the big city. I am sure there are upsides to living here. I have not discerned them yet for those with the wherewithal to live elsewhere. The choice to live here is hard to understand, but it is not for me to understand. It is for me to accept and I do, but it’s hard.
10 thoughts on “A Week Out Of Place”
Len maybe the resident like living there. They probably don’t have smog choking traffic jams, home invasions and $40k property taxes
All true. I was commenting about my take on it, and you could be right. I know my daughter-in-law likes being back home, BUT, is this good for my grandsons? They will have had very little experience with people unlike themselves. There is no culture there. I’m sorry, kids need to be kept busy and there is very little to do in Mt. Pleasant. This is a very depressed part of the US. It is not coming back. This is what Billy Joel was singing about in Allentown.
Really Leonard? Pittsburgh is not that far away and all those experiences can be had in the Berg.
But will they when life intervenes? Convenience matters. It probably takeslonger to get to Pittsburgh than it took us to get to Manhattan from Bellmore. And Bellmore had movie theaters. Sorry, Mt. Pleasant is the land that time forgot.
In a public forum? Lashon Hara!
Explain please. I understand the Hebrew. What’s the point?
Lenord , Our Grandsons are loved by a huge family ! They get to be a part of a group of people that will always be there for them ! You need to trust your son , and David and Benjamin’s Mother, Amanda . They know what they are doing they are trying their best to be good parents . I understand you don’t think much of Mt. Pleasant well I could never live in Houston . We are all different people , things you might hold in high regards I might not care about . I love those two little boys , they both very smart and have a spark they will go far in life ! Have alittle faith in their Mom and Dad ! I don’t agree with everything they do but we raised our children let them do their job ! I know God has his hand on them all! Yours Truly, Lisa Cochran
Lisa: Excellent comments. Thanks for reading. You are right that we have very different perspectives on things and we all have had different experiences. I hope you read all three blogs I wrote after our visit. They explain why I feel the way I do. My family has come a great distance since my grandfather got here in 1903. We have fought antisemitism and tough economic times to arrive at a place my grandfather could only have dreamed of. I want to make sure his efforts and those of all my ancestors
continue to be rewarded and we keep our place in this country. Those things concern me. Leonard
Lisa, I appreciate your comments and thank you very much for posting them. I told Richard that my perspective is that they lived in 2 big cities and based on their experiences they decided that for this part of their life they wanted to move to a small town where they will be close to your family and have a better quality of life. They made this decision from a point of view of knowledge, not guessing, and I totally respect and accept that. Friends and family did not understand how Len and I could leave Washington DC and jobs at the NCI where we both had tenure and move to Houston. My father did not understand or approve as he considered the research at MD Anderson to be not as high quality as what was going on at the NCI. I listened to what he and everyone else said, but knew the move was what we needed to do, in reality what I needed to do so I could change the treatment of children with osteosarcoma. His opinions and thoughts did not make me trust him or love him any less. “TRUST” is the operative word. To really trust, one must feel trusted. If you want to be trusted, you must also be willing to trust without conditions or being monitored. To have a loving and trusted relationship it is imperative that we be willing to listen to each others’ stories without judgment. We need to be willing to listen without anger even if we don’t like what we are hearing. We need to hear each other’s perspective. If you want me to listen to your story, you have to be willing to listen to mine. We need to LISTEN first, not summarily dismiss. We need to ask for clarification in case our interpretation is not correct, and then talk with each other. 100% agreement may not happen but we can get to acceptance. Holding on to anger for past mistakes is not productive in building trust. We need to focus on the good, the positive. And if we are not willing to talk and listen then there is nothing. I have great respect for Richard and Amanda, and their journeys. I can not imagine that I would have had the confidence to move to NYC alone as Amanda did. The decision to trust is on both sides and I am always willing to listen and hear. Will I be listened to and heard is the question.
Again, thank you for reaching out. Your thoughts and words are very much appreciated. With much respect, Genie Kleinerman
Leonard and Genie ! I believe the best thing we can do as Grandparents is let our Grandchildren know they are loved . We support their parents and help out as best we can , not trying to (Boss ) (I’m guilty of this but I’ve learned not to be because it really pisses them off ) . I’m Grandma !! I don’t overstep ! These kids are going to be ok , they both love each other . I’ve seen it more then once them defending each other against another person ! (child or adult ) It wonderful how Mom and Dad have instilled in them that they are family ! David is sweet and tender hearted he can build legos faster then I could open the box .He has a quick wit that just comes out at times. . Then there is our Benjamin a-little rough around the edges but if you break threw his shell he will cuddle with you and watch a movie . I see Benjamin as an entrepreneur, his own man. They are only 5-7 years old but wherever they go in life I want them to know they have family in Texas and Pennslyvannia ! My family means the world to me , my greatest accomplishment were my children and grandchildren ! God has surely blessed us all and given us the privledge of knowing those two wonderful little boys ! Lisa