Dueling Billions: Is The Oprah the Only Answer to The Donald?

Dueling Billions: Is The Oprah
the Only Answer to The Donald?


Leonard Zwelling

         Only the Democrats are currently spared the problem of devising
an answer to Trump. No matter who The Donald insults from women, to reporters,
to women reporters, to Latinos, to his fellow competitors for the GOP
nomination, the only people who do not need an answer to Trump are the loyal
opposition. At least not yet, but they will.

         Hillary has her own problems with possibly having broken the
law or certainly violated government policy or, if nothing else, showing the
street smarts of a five-year old. I really cannot imagine the country electing
a Jewish, socialist from Vermont as its next President and Joe Biden, well he’s
like The Donald in his respect for women and his use of colorful language, like
Hillary with his policies and as smart as neither of the other two. Oy!

         So a friend recently suggested that if the 2016 race is to
be about the cult of personality, a lack of humility, money so large that the
participant cannot be bribed or bought, and an over-abundance of personal
information, how about Oprah? Then we can have the battle of the billions.

         Oprah is plain spoken like Trump. She’s rich beyond venality
and she surely speaks in comprehensible full sentences that anyone can
understand. Why not have the first woman President be an entertainer? It worked
for the first senior citizen President in 1980.

         If what the country is looking for is emotional appeals to
its worst inclinations (that would be The Donald’s appeal to xenophobia and
nativism) as well as being financially beyond the reach of the Koch Brothers,
why not ask Oprah to represent the Dems and appeal to our better selves of
compassion, recipes and tears? Hell, she can even get David Letterman to be her
Vice Presidential running mate. Who could do a better warm-up for Hail to the
Chief than the Top Ten Reasons that thing on Donald Trump’s head disqualifies
him for high office? And can you imagine the Paul Shaffer version of The Star-Spangled Banner?

         I think my friend has it right. Let’s just get two rich
people to duke it out with monologues and hair jokes and cracks about all their
famous friends? It can’t be any worse than the current dull Republican field
that, like Mr. Trump, really doesn’t stand for any principles so will
undoubtedly fall for anything. The Democrats may be in the process of having us
choose on their side between a known liar and potential felon and a wild man
whose politics may resonate with about 10% of the electorate. Some choice.

         Yep. It should be The Donald and Ted Nugent vs. Oprah and
Dave. Talk about Stupid Pet Tricks….

         And what if Oprah wins? Does that mean Americans may have to
read books again? OMG!

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