The Solution To A Shrinking Margin At MD Anderson Is Bare Bottoms On Toilet Seats
By
Leonard Zwelling
It is my understanding that there are several members of the Executive Leadership team of The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center who have annual salaries in excess of one million dollars. Many faculty leaders make that much, too and many more make high six-figure salaries. At least some of the faculty leaders actually generate revenue by seeing patients. How the value of the million-dollar executives is quantified is beyond me. Personally, I can’t see it. Their job is to enhance the value of the two key Anderson assets—its name and its faculty. Have they really done that in the Pisters Era? I don’t think so.
Based on the decisions emanating from that leadership team, I have the perception that there is concern on the president’s part that the margins generated by the clinical enterprise are not sufficient. Merit raises will no longer lead to permanent increases in base pay. Saturday clinics have become a reality to bolster clinical income. Firing of highly paid faculty has become routine. To me, the “merger” with Texas Children’s Hospital seems really to be an acquisition of MD Anderson Pediatrics by TCH. This melding of two very different childhood cancer services and cultures (not to mention salary scales and benefit packages) appears to be a mechanism to jettison costs (the entirety of Pediatrics) at Anderson followed by a likely conversion of the vacated Pediatrics in-patient unit to a more profitable floor for adult cancer patient beds.
From the outside, where I sit, it seems that the highly paid ELT is making moves to increase revenue and decrease costs. That’s reasonable.
I have just learned of the most recent cost-control measure. Toilet seat covers will no longer be provided in MD Anderson bathrooms. From now on it’s bare bottoms on porcelain regardless of the issue of a sense of greater hygiene for staff and patients alike. My suspicions are that either toilet seat cover dispensers have been preserved in the executive suite or the executives bring their own paper covers from home. But what do I know?
In the announcement from the Inside MD Anderson page several reasons were given for the removal of the toilet seat covers:
- Limited infection protection value
- Minimal risk reduction
- The sense of comfort provided is not offset by the actual protection
- This is an example of institutional stewardship and better cleaning of bathrooms and hands are a better use of resources
I really cannot imagine what’s next, but clearly a sense of people’s comfort is not considered of value by President Pisters.
Surely be on the lookout for sales of toilet paper and paper towels at all MD Anderson stores as these may well be gone from the bathrooms soon, too.
Expect Uber to take over the operation of the golf carts that move patients over the bridges. Lyft will provide the busses between buildings. Remember to tip your driver please. Anything less than a five-star rating for a driver will be considered unprofessional. Dues for the fitness center will be installed soon. Prices for food will also be raised at all venues within the hospital complex.
Finally, like tee times at an expensive golf resort, there will be auctions for the best clinic times to see the faculty physician of your choice. Prices will be slightly less to see physician extenders, aka “providers.”
This all sounds ludicrous, but no more so than eliminating the toilet seat covers while the president makes in excess of $3 million.
The executives look cheap. They already looked foolish. What’s next—looking dangerous. Or are we already there?
